One year ago today, I married my best friend of 11 years.
There’s never a moment where I really feel like I’m limited with Jeremy. I wondered if marriage would change this.
I’ve never felt more supported or trusted by anyone else. I truly have his respect, and then his fierce love. He isn’t afraid to let me know exactly how he feels… while considering how I feel. It was our relationship like it was before except I get to enjoy it more now that we are around each other all the time. That’s awesome.
The first year of marriage… I remember being warned by a ton of people that it’d be our hardest as we figure out and understand all the little things that will annoy the hell out of us. We were told to be prepared to split the chores and agree on who does what ahead of time. Define our roles. Never go to bed angry. Communicate.
All great advice.
However it made me feel like I would suddenly have to try very hard to be his best friend now that we had signed some documents and emptied our bank accounts in a wedding display that drained me like nothing else in my life. Was everything going to be different now?
We are so in tune it’s amazing. And trust me when I say it doesn’t have all that much to do with me. I’m brash. I have ideas that flare up, make plans and execute them without always asking, I can be last minute, messy, and as stubborn as a mule. I’ve got a lot of my father’s good qualities (hard work, the ability to garner the trust of his colleagues, the ability to produce value in whatever he does) but I am very much my father’s daughter and I don’t know how to prioritize all that well, I am prone to losing control of my eating habits, and have a propensity to be pound AND penny foolish. I’m more caring like my mother but I am just as messy and I am not always an empathetic person, with the tendency to be quick to judge. Really, someone has to really love me to be able to tolerate all the crap and then focus on the good in me because I know, I know, I am nowhere near perfect. He has his quirks too, like all of us. But he is so great, it doesn’t matter.
Knowing all that, do you realize how lucky I feel to have the first year of my married life be the easiest, fun, most fulfilling, warm, accepted year of my life?
Want some advice?
Marry your best *friend*. Throw your expectations for the word “marriage” out the window and focus on your partner. Preconceptions and expectations are just roadblocks. I hate having them put on me, and refusing to put them on each other has only served us well, both for the first year of our marriage and the many years before!
I don’t have any other advice .
And for the future? I want to be best friends forever.
THATS RIGHT. BFFS.
Happy Anniversary to my other, totally better half.